“It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach; feels like your heart stopped beating. Feels like that dream, you know the one where you’re falling and, you want so desperately to wake up before you hit the ground but its all out of your control. You can’t trust anything anymore; no one is who they say they are. Your life is changed forever and the only thing to come out of the whole ugly experience is, no one will ever be able to break your heart like that again.”
alex: when strangeland came out, i remember being OBSESSED with the soundtrack that was released with it… I don’t know why one particular track stuck out to me. It’d have to be this one… DAYINTHELIFE - STREET JUSTICE they kind of sound like 311 without any of the fake white-rastafarian bullshit. I then remembered how amazed I was that the lyrics basically explained a part of the film,
being real impressed by that. I was a real stupid asshole.
I always feel like a freak because I’m never able to move on like… this, you know? People just have an affair, or even… entire relationships… They break up and they forget. They move on like they would have changed brand of cereals. I feel I was never able to forget anyone I’ve been with. Because each person had their own… specific qualities. You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost. Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me. I never fully recover. That’s why I’m very careful with getting involved, because… It hurts too much! Even getting laid… I actually don’t do that… I will miss of the person the most mundane things. Like I’m obsessed with little things. Maybe I’m crazy but… when I was a little girl, my mom told me that I was always late for school. One day she followed me to see why… I was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees rolling on the sidewalk, or ants crossing the road… the way a leaf cast a shadow on a tree trunk… little things. I think it’s the same with people. I see in them little details, so specific to each of them, that move me, and that I miss, and… will always miss. You can never replace anyone, because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details. Like I remember the way… your beard has a bit of red in it. And how the sun was making it glow… that morning, right before you left. I remember that, and… I missed it. I’m really crazy, right?
“
| — | Celine (Before Sunset) |
